Gallery of Trainwreck Prose

To: Amanda Hesser
Re: The Past Lingers in Changing Vietnam

Amanda Hesser, the woman who is married to Tad. Sample:

Our guide for several days was Do Ba Dat, a reticent man with dark still eyes and cheekbones like hamburger buns.

The Last Resort

To: Josh Marshall
Re: Farce II

Along the lines of this being the best of all possible worlds, and everything in it a necessary evil, perhaps you could say this is the most peace-loving of all administrations, and every foreign policy decision a last resort.

Able Danger: The Maximum Liberal Reading

To: Mickey Kaus
Re: Able Danger

What about the maximum liberal reading? If Bush had returned from Crawford to shake the tree in August 2001 he might have been struck in the head by an Atta, and saved the day. Or are we still assuming anyone who suggests 9/11 might have been prevented is a married homosexual?

Gallery of Trainwreck Prose

To: Ted West
Re: 2005 Porsche Boxster and Carrera S Cabriolet: Standing Ovations in the Porsche Belt

Note: I'm not mean enough actually to send an email to a writer of trainwreck prose, but click the link to rubberneck.

Fuck Healthcare... Universal Wi-Fi!

To: Thomas Friedman & Nicholas Kristof
Re: Calling All Luddites & When Pigs Wi-Fi

These recent columns call for giving each American "a log on, not a log out". I'm wondering if the public utility model also applies to healthcare, or if increased economic growth due to wireless internet access will allow all Americans to purchase private insurance, or if, failing that, they can at least download the latest journal articles, and see the care they would be getting if they didn't lack economic success, and therefore value...

You may argue that the two are incomparable due to cost. This is true, in reverse: the experience of other wealthy nations suggests that universal healthcare would have a steep negative cost.

Note: Sent only to Kristof. Friedman doesn't provide an email address for plebes.

Paris, the Capitol of Freedom

To: Speaker J. Dennis Hastert, U.S. House of Representatives
Re: Freedom Fries

Thank you for renaming "french fries" to "freedom fries", but doesn't that make Paris the capitol of Freedom? Perhaps you could substitute frogs' legs on the menu. Also, are you sure about "freedom toast": isn't that what Osama Bin Laden tried to do to New York City, London etc.? The red was blood, not raspberry jam.

Separating the Cream (from the Healthier Part)

To: Bruce Reed
Re: Booming Sector

Andrew Card earned his keep: he was a market-value lobbyist. There is no shame in being an employee of the privatizing sector. By contrast, nonprofit skonks are welfare aristocrats, overhead that puts clubs in the hands of baby seals.

Cowards, Damned Cowards and White House Staffers

To: Timothy Noah
Re: Malek's List, Cont'd

When you first wrote about Malek, my reaction was: Give the guy a break. The incident is on Nixon, not him. Who's going to say 'No' to the President?

But then I asked myself, honestly, if I had been in Malek's place, would I have counted Jews? I wouldn't have told Nixon off to his face, if I could have avoided it -- I just would have 'forgotten' his request, but there's no way I would have provided him with the list, even if called on it by the President. The request was beyond the pale. And, for context, I'm a coward, not a hero.

So, I'd have those who want to cut Malek slack ask themselves the question. If they wouldn't have compiled the list, they shouldn't feel they're holding Malek to an overhigh standard by opposing him. If they would, they shouldn't be in a position of public trust themselves.